New research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health offers a nuanced view of how narcissistic and borderline personality traits shape emotional responses to romantic infidelity. The findings highlight the complexity of personality traits in romantic relationships and suggest that certain traits may amplify emotional distress, particularly in situations where relational ambiguities exist.
Infidelity is a significant issue in romantic relationships, with estimates suggesting that up to 70% of relationships may experience some form of it at some point. The emotional fallout from infidelity can be devastating, affecting not just the individuals involved but also their relationship dynamics. While much research has examined why people engage in infidelity, less is known about how personality traits shape responses to being cheated on.
Narcissism, for instance, is a personality trait marked by self-centeredness and a need for admiration. Different types of narcissism, such as antagonistic narcissism (hostility and defensiveness) and neurotic narcissism (sensitivity and emotional distress), may lead to different reactions when people perceive that their partner is being unfaithful.
Borderline personality traits, which are associated with emotional instability and a fear of abandonment, may also intensify reactions to perceived infidelity. Given these traits’ propensity for emotional volatility, the researchers wanted to understand how people with elevated levels of narcissism and borderline traits might respond emotionally and how they would evaluate their relationship in the face of such betrayal.
“We were interested in exploring how narcissistic and borderline personality traits influence reactions to potential infidelity because these traits significantly impact interpersonal relationships. Understanding these dynamics can provide insights into emotional resilience and psychological vulnerability in the context of romantic betrayals, which is crucial for developing targeted therapeutic interventions,” said study author Avi Besser, a professor and chair of the Department of Communication Disorders at Hadassah Academic College and author of the Handbook of the Psychology of Narcissism.
To investigate the role of personality traits in responses to infidelity, the researchers recruited 997 participants, ranging in age from 20 to 60, through social media and community postings. Participants completed questionnaires assessing their levels of narcissistic traits—extraverted, antagonistic, neurotic, and communal narcissism—and borderline personality traits. They were then presented with one of two hypothetical scenarios involving infidelity.
In the high-threat scenario, participants imagined catching their partner in the act of being physically intimate with someone else, coupled with their partner expressing love for this person. In the low-threat scenario, participants imagined hearing laughter from a television showing a couple engaged in sexual activity while their partner was setting the table in another room.
After reading the scenarios, participants were asked about their expected emotional reactions—such as anger or sadness—and how they would evaluate their relationship if the hypothetical event occurred. These reactions and evaluations helped the researchers determine how personality traits influenced the emotional impact of perceived infidelity.
The study revealed distinct patterns in how different narcissistic and borderline traits influence reactions to romantic infidelity.
People with high levels of neurotic narcissism, a form of narcissism characterized by emotional distress and a strong need for approval, exhibited the most pronounced negative emotional reactions, particularly in high-threat scenarios where infidelity was explicit. These individuals tend to feel deeply threatened by potential betrayal, which aligns with their sensitivity to personal injury and feelings of insecurity. This emotional volatility led to more negative evaluations of their relationships when imagining infidelity, suggesting that neurotic narcissism significantly undermines relationship satisfaction in the face of perceived betrayal.
Antagonistic narcissism, defined by traits such as defensiveness and hostility, had a different pattern. Individuals with high levels of antagonistic narcissism showed negative reactions primarily in low-threat situations, where the perceived threat of infidelity was ambiguous. In these cases, even minor relational threats triggered defensive responses, worsening their overall view of the relationship. However, in high-threat scenarios, where the infidelity was explicit, their reactions were similar to others, indicating that personality traits play a more significant role in situations where the threat is less clear.
“We found that individuals with antagonistic narcissism perceived minor relational threats as significant, exacerbating relationship dissatisfaction, but not in highly threatening situations,” Besser told PsyPost. “This suggests personality traits might have different impacts depending on the level of perceived threat, indicating the complex nature of personality dynamics.”
Communal narcissism, which involves seeking admiration for perceived selflessness and altruism, was linked to negative emotional reactions primarily in low-threat situations. This suggests that communal narcissists might struggle with internal emotional distress, despite outwardly projecting an image of supportiveness and altruism. When relational threats are less clear, they may feel conflicted, leading to negative feelings about their partner and the relationship.
Interestingly, extraverted narcissism, characterized by a need for admiration and social validation, showed no significant connection to emotional responses or relationship evaluations in either high- or low-threat conditions. This suggests that individuals with high levels of extraverted narcissism may be less emotionally affected by relational threats, possibly due to their focus on external validation rather than internal emotional processes.
Individuals with borderline personality traits, marked by emotional instability and fear of abandonment, had intense emotional reactions in both high- and low-threat scenarios. However, their responses were particularly strong in low-threat conditions, where minor relational ambiguities triggered significant emotional distress. These individuals often perceive even small signs of potential infidelity as major threats, which can lead to negative evaluations of their relationships and contribute to emotional volatility.
“The main takeaway is that certain personality traits, like neurotic narcissism and borderline traits, can significantly heighten emotional reactions to perceived infidelity threats,” Besser said. “Individuals with these traits might benefit from tailored therapeutic approaches to enhance their relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being.”
But as with all research, there are some caveats to consider. “While our study sheds light on important aspects of personality traits and infidelity reactions, it relied on hypothetical scenarios, which might not fully capture the intensity of real-life situations,” Besser noted. “Additionally, our sample was predominantly Israeli, which might limit the generalizability of the findings across different cultural contexts.”
“We aim to expand our research to include diverse cultural contexts and real-life instances of infidelity to enhance the applicability of our findings. Additionally, we wish to develop and test therapeutic interventions that address the unique needs of individuals with narcissistic and borderline personality traits in romantic relationships.”
“Our study highlights the importance of understanding personality dynamics in relationships and suggests that even suspicions of infidelity can have serious emotional impacts, especially for those with certain personality traits,” Besser explained.
The study, “Fragile Egos and Broken Hearts: Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Traits Predict Reactions to Potential Infidelity,” was authored by by Avi Besser and Virgil Zeigler-Hill.