A cross-cultural study involving participants from 25 countries found that participants who have children tend to report lower levels of romantic love, intimacy, and passion toward their partners compared to individuals without children. This association depended on whether the couple had children, but not on the number of children. The paper was published in Human Nature.
Romantic love is an intense emotional and motivational state that binds two people through affection, longing, and attachment. It arises from a combination of biological drives, psychological needs, and social learning that shape how individuals form intimate bonds.
Evolutionary theories suggest that romantic love helps keep partners together long enough to raise offspring, increasing survival. At the same time, psychological theories emphasize that romantic love fulfills deep human needs for closeness, security, and belonging. Cultural factors also shape how people express and interpret romantic love, influencing expectations and norms.
Study author Agnieszka Żelaźniewicz and her colleagues note that previous research indicated that some components of romantic love might depend on the number of children a person has. For example, a previous study among hunter-gatherers found that having more children was associated with higher passion, but only in women. In the same group, commitment to the romantic partner was higher in both men and women with more children, but intimacy was lower.
The authors of this study wanted to investigate the relationship between romantic love and the number of children across different countries and cultures. They were interested in seeing what this relationship looks like in modern populations where birth control is widely available and having multiple offspring is typically a matter of choice.
This study was part of a larger cross-cultural project that involved over 10,000 people from 45 countries. However, after various exclusions, the researchers used data from 3,187 individuals in committed relationships from 25 different countries. Eighty-two percent of these participants were married, and 56% were women. Their average age was 39 years.
Among other assessments, participants completed a measure of romantic love (the Sternberg Triangular Love Scale) and reported their demographic data, including the number of children they have. On average, the number of children per participant was 1.56.
Results showed that having children—but not the specific number of children—was negatively associated with various aspects of romantic love. More precisely, participants who reported having children tended to report lower overall romantic love, intimacy, and passion toward their partners compared to their peers who did not have children. However, the study found no significant relationship between parenthood and commitment, suggesting that the decision to maintain the relationship remains stable even if passion and intimacy decline.
“This pattern may reflect challenges commonly associated with the transition to parenthood, including increased stress, fatigue, financial strain, and work-life conflict, which can diminish partners’ sense of closeness and attraction. Overall, the results underscore the importance of supporting couples’ romantic relationships during the parenting stage to help sustain emotional and physical connection under the demands of family life,” the study authors concluded.
The study contributes to the scientific understanding of the characteristics of romantic love in families with children. However, the dataset used in this analysis did not include information on participants’ desired or ideal number of children, nor on their satisfaction with their current family size. These factors could affect romantic love within a couple.
The paper, “Is Family Size Related To Love? Data from 25 Countries,” was authored by Agnieszka Żelaźniewicz, Marta Kowal, Bogusław Pawłowski, and Piotr Sorokowski.
