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Home Exclusive Relationships and Sexual Health Attachment Styles

Psychology of music: Most popular songs portray insecure romantic attachment, study finds

by Bianca Setionago
January 13, 2024
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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A study published in the Psychology of Music reveals that more than 86% of popular songs about relationships depict an insecure style of romantic attachment, including avoidant, anxious and fearful attachment. The findings highlight the potential influence of popular music lyrics on shaping adolescents’ perceptions and behaviors in romantic relationships.

Music consumption often drastically increases during adolescence, a period when many individuals also begin to explore romantic relationships. Previous research has demonstrated that the majority of popular music contains lyrics related to romance or sex.

As adolescence is characterized by a period of rapid development, these lyrics can potentially shape adolescents’ romantic behaviors and expectations, whether it is consciously through increased engagement with this music, or unconsciously from everyday exposure to various forms of media.

The study team, led by McKell Jorgensen-Wells from Brigham Young University in Utah, were interested in understanding the romantic attachment styles portrayed in popular song lyrics and how they might influence adolescents’ understanding of relationships.

Two aims were established for the study. The first was to measure the proportion of popular songs portraying an insecure attachment style – i.e. anxious attachment (seeking constant reassurance and attention), avoidant attachment (distancing oneself to prevent emotional closeness), or fearful attachment (strongly desiring close bonds but becoming distrusting and fearing when connection is provided).

The other aim was to measure whether attachment styles varied according to artist gender, relationship timeline, relationship status of artist, genre of song, romantic focus of the song (i.e. love or sex), and sexualization of the song’s romantic figure.

The team conducted an analysis of lyrics which were derived from songs listed in Billboard’s “Top Year End Chart Hot 100 Songs of 2019”, such as “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD and “Sunflower” by Post Malone & Swae Lee. A total of 87 songs were analyzed and 13 were discarded as they were not related to love – for instance, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong and “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift.

Lyrics that expressed uncertainty, pursuit of a partner, self-doubt, or the inability to exist or operate without their significant other (i.e. ’clingy’ behavior) were categorized as anxious attachment (e.g. “I won’t let you forget me”). On the other hand, lyrics which instructed partners to leave, escaping from a partner, or mistrust of a partner were labeled as avoidant attachment (e.g. “Baby girl you just a fling”).

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Songs that contained multiple anxious attachment and avoidant attachment phrases were labeled as fearful attachment.

Finally, songs that contained minimal to no anxious or avoidant expressions, along with positive romantic attitudes or actions were classified as secure attachment (e.g. “We can do anything if we put our minds to it/My love is yours if you’re willing to take it).

Meanwhile, songs that revolved around romance but didn’t provide sufficient context to determine the attachment style were labeled as neutral.

Statistical analyses revealed that 86.2% of songs illustrated an insecure attachment. Songs were predominantly avoidant attachment (33.33%), followed by anxious attachment (27.59%) and then fearful attachment (25.29%). Only a minor proportion of songs portrayed a secure attachment style (8.05%), and 5 songs were coded as neutral (5.75%).

Furthermore, music genre was related to attachment style. The researchers noted, “pop songs were less likely to be avoidant, although there was no evidence they were more often secure. Rap/hip hop/R&B songs were less likely to be anxious and very likely to be avoidant. These songs often noted that the subject did not need emotional closeness and thrived on being alone.”

The study team also analyzed the relationship between attachment style and romantic focus (i.e. sex or love). Lyrics with a focus on love were often secure and rarely avoidant, whereas songs with a sex focus were often avoidant and rarely secure. “Teenagers and parents would be wise to seek songs focused on love, noting that some genres (e.g., pop) are more likely to focus on love while others focus on sex (e.g., rap/hip hop/R&B),” the authors suggested.

The majority of the songs examined included at least one element of sexualization, and these songs tended to exhibit an avoidant attachment style and were less likely to display a secure attachment style. Conversely, songs that did not contain any sexualization showed the opposite trend – they were more likely to be secure and less likely to be avoidant. Jorgensen-Wells and colleagues explain this relationship, “avoidant individuals may objectify their romantic partner to diminish the other’s humanity, decreasing the objectifier’s perceived responsibility to elicit connection.”

“These portrayals of insecure attachment in popular music may influence adolescents’ romantic expectations and attitudes … examined in light of previous theoretical and empirical work, our findings insinuate that romantic messages presented by popular music may not depict healthy romantic relationships,” the authors concluded.

However, it’s important to note that the study does not establish a direct causal relationship between listening to certain types of music and adopting specific romantic behaviors or attitudes. The study team suggested that further research could incorporate other music genres such as rock and K-pop.

The study, “”Love lies”: A content analysis of romantic attachment style in popular music”, was authored by McKell A Jorgensen-Wells, Sarah M Coyne and Janna M Pickett.

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