Secure friendships may protect single men from shame and depression linked to porn use

A new study published in the journal Sexual Health & Compulsivity suggests that close friendships may protect single men from depression associated with pornography use that clashes with their moral beliefs. The findings suggest that when single men use pornography but believe doing so is wrong, this conflict can increase sexual shame and loneliness, which in turn may lead to depression. However, secure attachments with a best friend appear to lessen the psychological toll of this moral conflict.

Pornography use is common, especially among men. While much research has examined its effects in the context of romantic relationships, fewer studies have looked at what happens when single men experience distress related to their pornography habits. Many men report internal conflict when their behavior violates personal or religious values.

This gap between values and behavior, known as moral incongruence, has been linked to emotional distress in previous studies. However, the specific pathways through which this distress unfolds—and whether supportive friendships can buffer its effects—had not been fully explored in single men.

Given the rise in the number of single adults and the social and emotional challenges they often face, the researchers aimed to understand how moral conflict around pornography affects single men’s mental health. They were especially interested in the roles of sexual shame and loneliness, as well as whether having a secure friendship could protect against these outcomes.

“I got interested in this topic because I noticed there wasn’t much research looking specifically at single men and how they experience moral conflict around pornography use,” said study author Brandon Waggoner, an assistant professor at Liberty University. “A lot of the studies out there focus on married or religious groups, but singles often get overlooked. In my clinical work, almost all pornography use begins when someone is single. So, if we could find ways to help singles with this unwanted behavior, we could curb the problem at the source. It felt like an important gap to address.”

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The study involved 167 single men between the ages of 19 and 30 who reported using pornography in the previous six months. Participants were recruited online and completed a series of questionnaires measuring several psychological variables, including how often they viewed pornography, their level of moral disapproval of such use, feelings of sexual shame, loneliness, symptoms of depression, and how securely they felt attached to their best friend.

To quantify moral incongruence, the researchers used a combination of two measures: how frequently the participants reported using pornography and how strongly they believed such use was morally wrong. This allowed the researchers to capture the degree of internal conflict experienced by each participant.

Statistical analyses showed that higher levels of moral incongruence were linked to increased sexual shame. In turn, sexual shame was associated with greater loneliness and more severe symptoms of depression. This pattern suggests a possible pathway: men who use pornography but feel it is morally wrong may experience shame about their sexual behavior, which leads to social withdrawal and feelings of isolation, which may then contribute to depressive symptoms.

Crucially, the presence of a close, secure friendship appeared to change this dynamic. Men who felt comfortable and emotionally secure in their closest friendship were less likely to report intense sexual shame, even when they experienced high levels of moral conflict about their pornography use. Secure friendships also appeared to weaken the link between moral incongruence and depression. In contrast, men who reported avoidant or anxious attachment styles in their friendships—meaning they either feared abandonment or avoided emotional closeness—tended to experience stronger effects of moral incongruence on shame and depression.

The researchers conducted what is known as a moderated mediation analysis. This approach tested whether the indirect effect of moral incongruence on depression—through shame and loneliness—was stronger or weaker depending on the quality of the participants’ friendships. Results supported the idea that close, secure friendships can interrupt this emotional pathway, reducing the risk of depression.

“I was honestly surprised by how much friendships mattered,” Waggoner told PsyPost. “I expected relationships to play a role, but the strength of their protective effect was bigger than I thought. It really showed me that friendships aren’t just ‘nice to have’—they can make a big difference in someone’s wellbeing. That was encouraging to see.”

“The main takeaway is that when people feel conflicted about their pornography use, it can lead to shame, which then fuels loneliness and depression. But the really hopeful part is that having strong, secure friendships can help protect against these effects. Friendships don’t erase the conflict, but they make it less damaging. Rather than teaching individuals who do not like their pornography use to ‘white knuckle it,’ they can find another healthy pleasure to replace the behavior use. It shows just how powerful healthy relationships are for mental health.”

But the study, like all research, has some limitations. The study relied on self-reported data, which may be influenced by social desirability bias. Participants may have underreported their pornography use or exaggerated their moral concerns. It was also cross-sectional, meaning all data were collected at a single point in time. This limits the ability to draw conclusions about cause and effect.

“It’s possible that depression makes people more prone to shame about their behaviors, not just the other way around,” Waggoner noted. “Non-religious individuals or those that do not see their pornography use a problem would confound some of the findings. Also, the study only looked at single men, so the results may not apply to everyone. Future research can dig deeper into those questions.”

Future research could explore these dynamics using longitudinal methods that track individuals over time. It would also be useful to examine whether interventions aimed at strengthening friendships or fostering secure attachment styles can reduce the mental health risks associated with moral incongruence. Researchers may also consider other protective factors, such as self-compassion or adaptive coping strategies, that could help individuals manage shame without withdrawing socially.

“I’d love to work with churches or religious organizations to help them teach another alternative to mitigate pornography use other than accountability,” Waggoner said. “I also want to look at practical ways counselors can help people who are struggling with moral conflict and shame. Long-term, I hope this research helps reduce stigma and highlights the importance of building strong, supportive relationships. At the end of the day, it’s about giving people healthier paths to deal with these struggles.”

“I think the big thing to remember is that this study isn’t about judging pornography use—it’s about understanding how people’s values and behaviors can clash and create distress. A lot of people deal with this quietly, and it can feel isolating. Knowing that friendships can make such a big difference is encouraging. It’s a reminder that connection and support are really powerful tools for mental health.”

The study, “Out of the Spiral: How Friendships for Single Men Moderate the Effects of Morally Incongruent Pornography Use on Sexual Shame, Loneliness, and Depression,” was authored by Brandon Waggoner, Fred Volk, and Hannah Murch.