New research indicates that most people are interested in having a threesome. But few people have experienced one. The study, recently published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, provides new insights into attitudes and outcomes related to mixed-gender threesomes.
Previous research suggests that threesomes are one of the most popular sexual fantasies, but the topic has not received much scientific attention. The authors behind the new study sought to beginning the process of filling in this hole in the literature.
“My interest dates back to graduate school when I was having an informal conversation about gender differences associated with the stigma facing adults participating in mixed-gender threesomes (MGTs),” explained researcher Ashley Thompson, an associate professor at the University of Minnesota Duluth and director of the Sexuality and Relationship Science Lab.
“Anecdotally, I noticed that men were stigmatized more for engaging in a MGT with a member of the same sex, whereas women were stigmatized for engaging in a MGT with two members of the other sex. This conversation was the catalyst for what has turned into a long-term research program assessing MGT attitudes, interest, experience, and outcomes.”
“In addition, research suggests that sexual norms and opinions in western cultures are shifting and becoming increasingly permissive. Consequently, opportunities to engage in behaviors that were once highly stigmatized may now be more accessible (including MGTs). Thus, I was interested in investigating MGTs in order to establish whether stigma was decreasing and whether MGTs could be promoted as a healthy, satisfying way to explore one’s sexuality.”
For their study, the researchers surveyed 231 American undergraduate college students and a diverse group of 1,344 adults. In addition to providing socio-demographic information, the participants responded to questions such as “If presented with the opportunity, how interested would you be in engaging in a threesome if it involved: two males and a female?”
Approximately 81% of the participants reported some degree of interest in engaging in a MGT and both samples had neutral-to-positive attitudes toward MGTs. But only 30.07% of participants indicated that they had experienced a threesome. Among those having MGT experience, most said the threesome had “met expectations.”
Men tended to report more interest in threesomes than women — heterosexual men were particularly interested in threesomes involving two other women. In addition, older adults were more likely to have had a threesome than younger adults.
The researchers also found that participants were most interested in MGTs involving a casual acquaintance and least interested in MGTs involving a complete stranger.
“Overall, the results of our study indicate that MGTs are a common sexual behavior that often result in positive outcomes, especially among sexual minority individuals,” Thompson told PsyPost.
“That said, the number of people reporting interest in MGTs far exceeded the number reporting experience with MGTs. This finding likely indicates that many would be willing to participate but, only in certain contexts. For example, some adults may be open to participating in a MGT if initiated by someone else, but would not be sufficiently motivated to seek out a MGT themselves.”
“On the other hand, it is possible that some individuals may have had the opportunity to participate but chose not to because their interest was countered by inhibition about engaging in an unconventional sexual activity (perhaps due to sexual anxiety). Regardless, our results demonstrate the MGTs can result in positive outcomes,” Thompson said.
“Thus, we encourage educators and practitioners to promote MGTs as a normative and satisfying behavior. In fact (according to previous research), MGTs may offer the ideal opportunity to explore one’s sexuality and the freedoms of nonmonogamy in a stigma-reduced way.”
For example, a 2017 study of 30 male college students who identified as heterosexual found 5 of them had engaged in threesomes with another man and a woman. Among the 25 who had not, 20 of them said they were open to it.
But the new study — like all research — includes some limitations.
“A large caveat worth mentioning is the limitations associated with the sample we recruited. In particular, this study was primarily advertised through the social media accounts of sex researchers and was described as a survey of ‘sexual attitudes.’ Thus, the participants were likely those who felt comfortable discussing sex and those with more permissive attitudes toward sex,” Thompson explained.
“Consequently, our results may be inflated to reflect more permissive attitudes, greater interest, more experience, and enhanced outcomes than what would be reported by the population as a whole.”
“Additionally, only a single-item measure was used to assess outcomes. Thus, we were unable to determine which aspects of MGT experiences were perceived most and least positively, nor were we able to assess variations in outcomes according to the type of MGT,” Thompson said.
The study, “Exploring Variations in North American Adults’ Attitudes, Interest, Experience, and Outcomes Related to Mixed-Gender Threesomes: A Replication and Extension“, was authored by Ashley E. Thompson, Allison E. Cipriano, Kimberley M. Kirkeby, Delaney Wilder, and Justin J. Lehmiller.