People often say they want partners of a certain age, but what happens when they meet someone face-to-face? A new study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences suggests that both men and women are slightly more attracted to younger partners after a blind date—even if that contradicts what they previously claimed.
The researchers set out to test a common assumption in mating research: that men are typically attracted to younger women, and women prefer older men. This belief is supported by global data showing that, on average, men are about four years older than women in mixed-gender marriages. People also tend to express these age preferences when asked on surveys. But much of this past research has focused on self-reports or online behavior rather than real-world interactions.
“It isn’t easy to capture real-life romantic attraction for partners who cover a range of ages. Of course, there are many romantic attraction studies among college students, but college students typically span only a narrow range of ages,” said study author Paul W. Eastwick, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis and co-host of The Love Factually Podcast.
“There are also many studies that look at people’s online dating behavior, but these studies never capture how people feel about each other once they meet face-to-face – an essential step in the dating process. In fact, only a single other study had ever captured how a partner’s age actually affects men’s and women’s initial attraction to real-life romantic partners (Kurzban & Weeden, 2005). So when we knew that we would be receiving this dataset from Tawkify, this was the first research question we preregistered: how would the partner’s age affect men’s and women’s attraction, and would people’s stated preferences for a partner’s age matter?”
To address this gap, the researchers analyzed data from 6,262 participants who signed up for Tawkify, a U.S.-based matchmaking service designed to help people find long-term partners. Participants were mostly middle-aged and diverse in terms of race, income, and relationship history. After each blind date, both individuals rated how much they enjoyed the date, how romantically attracted they were to their partner, and whether they wanted to go on a second date.
Importantly, participants had previously indicated their preferred maximum age for a partner. However, matchmakers sometimes paired them with people older than their stated limit if other traits seemed like a good match. This allowed the researchers to test whether people were less interested in partners who exceeded their preferred age threshold—and whether any age-related preferences were stronger for men than women.
The findings revealed a small but consistent trend: both men and women were slightly more romantically attracted to younger partners. Across three different measures—romantic attraction, overall impression, and willingness to go on a second date—youth was linked with higher ratings. This was true regardless of whether the partner exceeded the dater’s stated maximum age. Surprisingly, the effect was equally strong for women and men, despite longstanding assumptions about gender differences in age preferences.
“We found that both men and women were slightly more attracted to younger partners,” Eastwick told PsyPost. “So a key takeaway is that women say they are attracted to older men, but they actually appear to be (slightly) attracted to younger men. This is very surprising given that women say they want an older partner in nearly every study that has ever been conducted. In fact, the daters’ stated preferences for the partner’s age didn’t seem to affect how they felt about these partners one bit.”
This runs counter to the idea that women are drawn to older men due to greater resources or maturity. In fact, women in this study showed the same slight preference for younger partners as men did. And while women had higher stated upper-age limits on average, those preferences didn’t seem to guide their actual decisions. They were just as open—or closed—to older partners as men were.
“It’s quite surprising that the magnitude of the effect is nearly identical for men and women,” Eastwick said. “It would have been one thing if women simply had no partner age preference but men preferred younger women – even that result would have been somewhat surprising (because women say they desire older men). The true surprise was that the magnitude of the preference for youth was about the same (r = .10 or so) for men and women alike.”
“Here’s a way of understanding that value in simple terms: You’d be more likely to desire a younger rather than an older partner at about a 55% vs. 45% split. That is, 55% of the time, you would choose the younger partner. So it’s small – and you probably wouldn’t notice it yourself with just the ‘naked eye’ – but it makes a difference in the aggregate.”
The researchers also tested whether attraction dropped off suddenly when a partner was just over a participant’s age limit. It didn’t. There was no evidence of a sharp drop in romantic interest once a partner exceeded someone’s stated age maximum. Nor did the slope of attraction change for increasingly older partners. Participants’ preferences, it turns out, weren’t shaped by hard age cutoffs. Instead, their ratings of romantic interest gradually decreased as a partner’s age increased—regardless of stated preferences.
To account for potential confounding variables, the researchers ran separate analyses for male and female participants and controlled for repeated dates, mutual evaluations, and the natural overlap in the dating pool. In one analysis, they limited the sample to women under 40 to rule out concerns about age-related reproductive potential influencing attraction. The pattern held steady. Both men and women continued to show a modest preference for younger partners, even in this restricted sample.
Income, another possible factor, also failed to explain the results. The study included both high-earning and lower-earning individuals, but financial status didn’t significantly affect age preferences. Women with high incomes were no more or less drawn to younger partners than women with lower incomes. Likewise, the age of a wealthy or less wealthy date had no stronger influence on attraction.
One possible explanation for these findings is that the dating pool itself is skewed. Women are often introduced to slightly older men through matchmakers or social networks, partly because the idea that women prefer older men is so widespread. In this study, women’s average partner was about 3.5 years older than they were—reflecting how matchmakers applied traditional assumptions. But the mutual attraction between younger partners persisted across the board, suggesting these assumptions may be outdated.
The authors also consider that women’s preferences might shift depending on the context. In a blind date setting, where the goal is to make a good impression and assess chemistry, women may be more open to younger men than they would be in abstract surveys or in long-term relationship decisions. This initial attraction might fade over time or be overridden by other concerns. It’s also possible that social norms, rather than actual preferences, guide what people say they want in a partner.
Interestingly, the findings echo an earlier study that showed a similar pattern. That 2005 study also found no gender difference in attraction to younger partners in a speed-dating context. Yet because the earlier study involved younger adults and allowed people to preselect age ranges, some researchers questioned its relevance. The new study improves on this by examining middle-aged participants and using blind dates where people couldn’t choose their partners’ ages.
Despite the strength of the data—large sample size, preregistered analyses, and real-world interactions—there are limitations. Participants were all part of a paid matchmaking service, which might mean they are more open-minded or unconventional than the general population. It’s also unclear whether initial attraction translates into long-term compatibility or successful relationships. People may be drawn to younger partners on a first date, but over time, other qualities could become more important.
“These are just first dates – we don’t know what transpires on date two and so on,” Eastwick noted. “It’s certainly possible that women’s preference for an older man starts to matter later in the process, before a relationship ultimately forms.”
Still, the researchers suggest this work opens up new ways of thinking about how couple age gaps arise. The fact that most couples still consist of older men and younger women might have more to do with the structure of dating markets than with deep-rooted psychological preferences.
“This finding inspires a new angle for thinking about age preferences: What if the ‘couple age difference’ (men are about 3-4 years older than women in the average couple worldwide) is baked into the dating pool from the start?” Eastwick explained. “After all, young men are not considered viable dating partners until they reach a later age than girls. Older women may take themselves out of the pool because they don’t want to be a nurse or a purse. Those two features would create a system with an average gender-age difference in ‘who is dating’ in the first place. In that system, both genders could prefer a younger partner after a first date, and yet the man would be older than the women in the average couple.”
The study, “No gender differences in attraction to young partners: A study of 4,500 blind dates,” was authored by Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel, Eva M. Meza, and Kellie Ammerman.
