Women are more inclined to maintain high-conflict relationships if their partner displays benevolent sexism

New research sheds light on why some individuals choose to remain in romantic relationships characterized by high levels of conflict. The study, published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, suggests that benevolent sexism and anxious attachment styles may lead people to base their self-worth on their relationship status, prompting them to utilize maladaptive strategies to maintain the partnership.

Romantic relationships are a fundamental component of daily life for many adults and are strongly linked to psychological well-being and physical health. Despite the benefits of healthy partnerships, many people find themselves unable or unwilling to exit relationships that are unfulfilling or fraught with frequent arguments. Psychological scientists have sought to understand the specific mechanisms that motivate people to maintain troubled relationships rather than ending them.

The new study, spearheaded by Carrie Underwood, focused specifically on the role of benevolent sexism in this dynamic. Benevolent sexism is a subtle form of sexism that subjectively views women positively but frames them as fragile and in need of men’s protection and financial support. The researchers aimed to determine if having a partner who endorses these views makes a person more likely to stay in a troubled union.

“Some people find it difficult to leave romantic relationships that are characterized by high levels of conflict. This is concerning given that romantic relationships are a central part of daily life for many individuals,” explained corresponding author Rachael Robnett, the director of the Women’s Research Institute of Nevada and professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

“We were particularly interested in whether people are more inclined to stay in conflicted relationships when their romantic partner is described as endorsing benevolent sexism, which is a subtle form of sexism that emphasizes interdependence and separate roles for women and men in heterosexual romantic relationships.”

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“For example, benevolent sexism encourages men to protect and provide for women under the assumption that women are not well equipped to do these things themselves. Correspondingly, benevolent sexism also emphasizes that women’s most important role is to care for their husband and children in the home.”

The researchers conducted two studies. The first involved 158 heterosexual undergraduate women recruited from a large public university in the Western United States. The participants ranged in age from 18 to 55, with an average age of approximately 20 years. The sample was racially diverse, with the largest groups identifying as Latina and European American.

The researchers utilized an experimental design involving a hypothetical vignette. Participants were randomly assigned to read one of two scenarios describing a couple, Anthony and Chloe, engaging in a heated argument. In the control condition, participants simply read about the argument.

In the experimental condition, participants read an additional description of Anthony that portrayed him as endorsing benevolent sexism. This description characterized him as a provider who believes women should be cherished, protected, and placed on a pedestal by men. Participants were instructed to imagine they were the woman in the relationship and to report how they would respond to the situation.

After reading the scenario, the women reported how likely they would be to use various relationship maintenance strategies. These included positive strategies, such as emphasizing their commitment to the partner, and negative strategies, such as flirting with others to make the partner jealous. They also rated their likelihood of dissolving the relationship.

Finally, participants completed surveys measuring their own levels of benevolent sexism and relationship-contingent self-esteem. Relationship-contingent self-esteem measures the extent to which a person’s feelings of self-worth are dependent on the success of their romantic relationship.

The researchers found distinct differences in anticipated behavior based on the description of the male partner. When the male partner was described as endorsing benevolent sexism, women were more likely to endorse using positive relationship maintenance strategies than they were to end the relationship. This preference for maintaining the relationship via prosocial means was not observed in the control condition.

The researchers also analyzed how the participants’ own attitudes influenced their anticipated behaviors. Women who scored higher on measures of benevolent sexism tended to report higher levels of relationship-contingent self-esteem. In turn, higher relationship-contingent self-esteem was associated with a greater willingness to use negative maintenance strategies.

This statistical pathway suggests that benevolent sexism may encourage women to invest their self-worth heavily in their relationships. Consequently, when those relationships are troubled, these women may resort to maladaptive coping behaviors, such as jealousy induction, to restore the bond.

“When we asked women to envision themselves in a relationship that was characterized by a high level of conflict, they reported a desire to remain in the relationship and resolve the conflict via prosocial strategies when the man in the relationship espoused ideals that are in line with benevolent sexism,” Robnett told PsyPost.

“We did not see the same pattern in a control condition in which the man’s gender attitudes were not described. This illustrates the insidious nature of benevolent sexism: Its superficially positive veneer may entice some women to tolerate relationships that do not serve their best interests.”

The second study built upon these findings by including both women and men and by incorporating attachment theory. The sample consisted of 190 heterosexual undergraduate students, with a majority being women. The average age was roughly 20 years, and the participants were recruited from the same university participant pool.

Similar to the first study, participants read the vignette about the couple in a heated argument. However, in this study, all participants were assigned to the “benevolent partner” condition. Women read the description of Anthony used in the first study. Men read a description of Chloe, who was portrayed as believing women should be domestic caretakers who rely on men for fulfillment.

Participants completed the same measures regarding relationship maintenance and self-esteem used in the previous study. Additionally, they completed the Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised questionnaire to assess anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Anxious attachment involves a fear of rejection and a strong desire for intimacy, while avoidant attachment involves discomfort with closeness.

The results indicated that the psychological mechanisms functioned similarly for both women and men. The researchers found that participants with higher levels of anxious attachment were more likely to base their self-esteem on their relationship. This heightened relationship-contingent self-esteem then predicted a greater likelihood of using negative relationship maintenance strategies.

The analysis provided evidence that relationship-contingent self-esteem mediates the link between anxious attachment and maladaptive relationship behaviors. This means that anxiously attached individuals may engage in negative behaviors not just because they are anxious, but because their self-worth is on the line.

The study also reinforced the connection between benevolent sexism and self-worth found in the first experiment. Higher levels of benevolent sexism predicted higher relationship-contingent self-esteem for both men and women. Conversely, participants with higher levels of avoidant attachment were less likely to base their self-worth on the relationship.

“Women and men who were high in relationship-contingent self-esteem were particularly likely to report that they would remain in the relationship and attempt to resolve the conflict via maladaptive strategies such as making their partner jealous,” Robnett explained. “Relationship-contingent self-esteem occurs when someone’s sense of self is highly invested in their romantic relationship, such that their self-esteem suffers if the relationship ends. Our findings suggest that relationship-contingent self-esteem may encourage people to (a) remain in troubled relationships and (b) cope with their dissatisfaction by engaging in maladaptive behaviors.”

“Our findings further illustrated that relationship-contingent self-esteem tends to be particularly high in women and men who are high in benevolent sexism and high in anxious attachment. In theory, this is because both of these constructs encourage people to be hyper-focused on their romantic relationships.”

“In sum, our findings suggest a possible chain of events where anxious attachment and benevolent sexism encourage people to invest their sense of self in romantic relationships,” Robnett said. “In turn, this may contribute to them staying in conflicted romantic relationships and attempting to resolve the conflict via maladaptive strategies.”

But the study, like all research, includes some limitations. Both studies relied on hypothetical vignettes rather than observing actual behavior in real-time conflicts. How people anticipate they will react to a scenario may differ from how they react in a real-world situation with an actual partner.

Additionally, the sample was comprised of undergraduate students, which may limit how well the findings apply to older adults or long-term married couples. The researchers also pointed out that the study design was cross-sectional, which prevents definitive conclusions about cause and effect.

“We can only speculate about causal flow in this chain of events,” Robnett explained. “We would need an experiment or longitudinal data to draw stronger conclusions.”

The study, “Benevolent Sexism, Attachment Style, and Contingent Self‐Esteem Help to Explain How People Anticipate Responding to a Troubled Romantic Relationship,” was authored by Carrie R. Underwood and Rachael D. Robnett.