People with intellectual humility tend to handle relationship conflicts better, new study finds

A new study published in the Journal of Research in Personality suggests that intellectual humility—recognizing the possibility that one’s beliefs might be wrong—is linked to more constructive conflict behavior and greater relationship satisfaction in romantic couples. In particular, men who scored higher in intellectual humility tended to report stronger bonds with their partners and were also rated more favorably by those partners across several aspects of relationship quality.

Intellectual humility refers to the tendency to recognize that one’s own views could be flawed. The researchers behind the study were interested in how this mindset influences romantic relationships, especially during conflict. Disagreements are common in long-term partnerships, and how couples handle these disagreements can have a lasting impact on relationship satisfaction. While past research has highlighted the importance of communication skills and empathy, intellectual humility had not been closely examined as a factor in how couples navigate conflict.

“We were inspired to learn more about the many ways that intellectual humility manifests – from large-scale global affairs to everyday interpersonal interactions. The way that people navigate disagreements in close relationships is important to relationship quality and satisfaction and we were interested in the role that intellectual humility plays in such conflicts in romantic relationships,” explained study author Katrina P. Jongman-Sereno, an assistant professor of psychology at Elon University.

The research team recruited 74 heterosexual couples from the southeastern United States, including married, cohabiting, engaged, and dating individuals. The participants ranged in age from 21 to 61, with an average age of about 32. Most had been together for several years, and the majority had at least a college education.

Each participant completed a battery of surveys separately from their partner. These included a validated scale measuring intellectual humility with items like “I accept that my beliefs and attitudes might be wrong.” They also rated their satisfaction with the relationship, how much they liked and loved their partner, how often they argued, and how well they got along.

Additionally, they reported on their own and their partner’s behavior during disagreements—such as raising their voice, admitting fault, or trying to understand the other’s position—and rated what they believed their partner’s goals were during those conflicts, such as wanting to win the argument or find a solution.

The researchers analyzed the data using a method that allowed them to assess how each partner’s level of intellectual humility related to both their own and their partner’s responses. They found that higher levels of intellectual humility in men were associated with higher relationship satisfaction—not only for the men themselves but also for their partners. Men who scored higher in humility also reported a stronger emotional bond with their partners and were seen by their partners as easier to get along with and less likely to engage in frequent arguments.

Interestingly, women’s intellectual humility was not significantly related to their partner’s relationship satisfaction or conflict experiences. It was, however, linked to their own perceptions. Women who were more intellectually humble saw themselves as behaving more constructively during disagreements and were more likely to believe that their partner had positive motives in conflicts, such as trying to understand them or find common ground.

One of the study’s more nuanced findings was that intellectual humility influenced not just how people acted, but how they perceived and responded to their partner’s actions. For instance, men who had female partners with higher humility were more likely to report that they themselves behaved better during arguments. This suggests that a partner’s humility may encourage more respectful and less reactive behavior, particularly among men who are otherwise average or lower in humility themselves.

Despite these associations, the study did not find strong evidence for a synergistic effect when both partners were high in intellectual humility. In other words, having two humble partners did not necessarily amplify relationship benefits beyond what was observed when one partner was humble. Most effects appeared to be additive, meaning that the presence of humility in at least one partner helped—but didn’t multiply—positive outcomes.

“In general, the more people are willing to recognize that their viewpoint may be wrong, the more satisfaction, liking, and love is reported in their romantic relationships,” Jongman-Sereno told PsyPost. “So, valuing perspectives that differ from one’s own and being willing to reconsider one’s beliefs in the face of conflicting evidence may be a key to more satisfying interpersonal relationships. We also found that men’s level of intellectual humility played a bigger role in positive relationship outcomes than women’s.”

But the researchers caution against drawing strong conclusions about causality, given the nature of the study. All data came from self-reports or partner-reports rather than objective observations. While participants’ ratings of themselves and their partners were moderately correlated—suggesting reasonable accuracy—future studies using direct observation of conflict behaviors may provide a clearer picture of how humility influences interpersonal dynamics.

Another limitation is the sample composition. All couples were heterosexual, and most participants were relatively young and well-educated. Since gender differences emerged—particularly in how men’s humility was more consistently related to both their own and their partners’ experiences—the authors suggest that future research should explore whether similar patterns hold in same-sex relationships or in more diverse samples.

The study also raises questions about how intellectual humility might be fostered and whether interventions designed to increase it could help couples experiencing frequent or intense conflict. Although most existing programs to boost intellectual humility have been developed in educational settings, the researchers suggest that relationship counseling could incorporate strategies to help partners reflect on the fallibility of their own beliefs and become more open to alternative perspectives.

The study, “Intellectual humility in romantic relationships: Implications for relationship satisfaction, argument frequency, and conflict behaviors,” was authored by Katrina P. Jongman-Sereno a, Jessica C. Reich, Richard S. Pond Jr., and Mark R. Leary.